The Beast In Us (The Beast And Me Book 3) Read online

  I didn’t step closer, waiting for White to step out of a dark corner to explain to me that this was my reward and that there was more to come if I was a good girl. But there was no one lurking in the shadows and Grey closed and locked the door behind me.

  So, this is my new home now and I pretended that I have just moved into an industrial inspired loft and still have to make money to furnish everything. When I ignore the mirrored windows with the shadows behind them to my left, I can almost believe myself.

  Despite the dimness of the room that I can lighten up with my lamp, the place is not as cold as one might expect. It’s not warm either, but actually just the right temperature to sleep well and to exercise without overheating too quickly.

  That’s what I did. After weeks of basically doing nothing, I started to do my Yoga stuff again and I felt quite stiff doing it the first round, but it was refreshing, especially since I feel tired all the time.

  Day 159

  I didn’t think or get the chance to write after that. I was asleep deeply when I heard a noise behind me. Scratching of metal, bolts snapping back and I just sat up straight, needing a moment to remember that I wasn’t in Val’s white and clean hospital room anymore, but in the black and grey loft like cage. I turned around and realized that it was the door that led to the small cell, which was the usual room for beasts with some sanity left.

  The door opened and there he was: Jay. Although it was dim, there was a full moon illuminating the room with sharp edged beams, giving me enough light to see his features. If I still had been human it all would have been pitch black to me. But now, I could see that he was alerted, his face was still shifting and warping into its beast form, his eyes were glowing, and his stance was slightly crouched. I just knew by the sight of him that no one had prepared him for this undeniable change of situation.

  “Jay!” I just squealed and jumped onto my feet on the mattress and leaped into his arms from there.

  I didn’t care that we were monitored or recorded, there was no denying what I felt for him. And Jay was simply too stunned to interpret me leaping into him as an attack. He managed to wrap his arms around me as we collided. And I brought my legs around him, enfolding him with them, gluing myself to his body. All I wanted was to just feel him against me, to merge our two bodies to one mass of heat. He instantly buried his face into my braided hair sucking in my scent and... freezing.

  “It’s okay,” I whispered, my lips brushing against the soft skin of his neck, sending jolts through his body that I could sense through him briefly tensing. “I’m okay.”

  I send my right hand through his hair at the back of his head, pressing his face against my neck while sucking in his scent. It was the first time I could really inhale him with my new senses and it was like sucking a drug into my lungs. It did all sorts of things to my body that sprung alive and willing. I was instantly ready to welcome him inside of me, and hell, did he know.

  This was how he must feel around me and his whole behavior of every meeting up to this made so much more sense. How helpless he must have felt the first time he got that close to me? I probably would have hurt him too, if I had been in his position.

  My whole body was pure want and need and I knew he felt the same. There wasn’t any patience for the fabric that hid our bodies and in retrospect I am relieved that Jay was far more impatient than me and got rid of his own clothing before I was able to express a similar strength to his.

  I was lying bare on the bed within seconds and I didn’t waste one moment thinking about if anyone would watch or tape us. I just didn’t care. All I needed now was to feel his hot skin against mine. All I wanted was to just sense him as near and close as much as humanly possible. However animalistic it had begun, is as tender as it became when he placed my back gently on the bed. I’m not sure if Jay had ever been like this before, but right then it wasn’t important. Although still in transition between beast and man, all his priority was me; and he made sure that I was aware of that. His hands and mouth were all over me and it almost felt as if he was guiding a never-ending sheet of silk across my skin. He stripped every thought from me until my mind was bare, left with nothing more than primal instincts and sensations.

  A low growl was building up in my chest, but I gasped for air when his lips descended down between my legs, brushing across my tender, soaked flesh. I felt as if he had set the match and I would be the dynamite to explode. I writhed and tensed, clawed my fingers into the sheets and definitely tearing them as his tongue flicked my clit teasingly, once, then twice. His hands snaked up my sides searching for my breasts, cupping them gently first and more possessively as he pressed his mouth and tongue down, invading me. My body wanted to buckle but I was paralyzed, lost in the sensation of electricity and softness. I wanted him to stop, and to continue, wanted his fingers inside me and still hold me. But they didn’t obey me. Instead they circled around my nipples, imprisoning them, just to pinch the very second his teeth found my clit. Pain never before was so deliciously sensational.

  “Please!” I whined, not knowing what I was begging for; I wanted so many things at the same time.

  His cruel tongue and fingers continued torturing me in the most fantastic way and I couldn’t help but surrender. Somehow, he knew what I was begging for and attacked my flesh even more with his teeth and fingers. And maybe even his claws and fangs. But I couldn’t be sure because my eyes were pressed shut, trying desperately to keep a part of my control so I wouldn’t leap over the edge too soon. Still, I needed to know, I had to see, to make sure that I wasn’t making it up that I had made him turn. The mere thought made me fall before I could stop myself.

  Jay mercifully stopped after I rode down that road until there were just a few aftershocks left in my bones. Finally, I managed to open my eyes and look at him.

  And I was right. I sucked in the air, my body being on fire by the mere sight of his glowing eyes looking up at me from between my legs. Quickly, knowing that he would misunderstand me, I got up when he was about to bring space between us. I reached out with my hands and made him stop and realize that I wanted him close again, even closer. The expression on his face made me ache for him even more. When would his torment ever stop?

  That was the last coherent thought in my head before my hand connected with his cheek, guiding him back towards me. Our bodies took over a fluent motion moving in the same direction back down onto the bed. Just before our thighs connected his mouth collided with mine and I couldn’t care less about the different feel of his lips because his fangs had surfaced. His claws on my skin were barely touching me and it was strangely, excitingly erotic. I wasn’t for a moment afraid that they would hurt me again. My hands brushed past his cheeks and dug into his hair, making him growl lowly, making my lips vibrate slightly. The sound alone sent waves of shivers and goosebumps down my spine and I hummed back in return. Although placing himself on top on me, trying to cover as much of my skin as possible with his, Jay made sure to not smother me with his weight.

  I allowed my hands to snake down to the nape of his neck, down his shoulders and explore his torso, where his muscles were still bulging from his change that he seemed to somehow put on hold. I don’t know why, but I just had to test him, running my tongue across his lower lip and slide it into his mouth as he slightly opened it. His own tongue was welcoming mine eagerly and he made a sound that was close to a purr.

  Still, all the time, he wasn’t inside me. His hot, pulsing length was pressed against my stomach, the soft tender flesh brushing against mine, almost tickling me, but it was rather a searing hot current riding my nerves to all my sensitive spots. I couldn’t understand how he could be that patient and even more how he was able to control himself when just a few months ago he marked me forever with his claws. The thought that I might be the reason made my heart melt and ache.

  My hands found his face again that was stuck somewhere being human and beast, but it didn’t scare me and didn’t repulse me either.

  “I lo
ve you, Jay,” I whispered and the words almost stuck in my throat.

  He leaned down to kiss me softly, longingly, lovingly and with a slow, steady movement of his hips he entered my body in just the same way.

  I felt as if I had held my breath for an eternity, as if I had tried to survive in a vacuum until he breathed life into me. All these tiny sensations, the tingles and prickles exploded to so much more, to a fire beneath my skin. Jay was so gentle; it hurt in a beautiful way.

  I don’t know if it was because of my change, or because he was somewhere in between being beast and man. Maybe it was because he seemed to be finally whole and not two different pieces molded together. It was beast and man making love to me.

  I lost count of how many times I lost my mind this time, while he kept continuing to patiently and with determination to make this time one to remember, but I could see by the color of his eyes and their unearthly glow that keeping the balance was taking its toll. As good as it was that he was able to keep control, he did have to let go, too. Again, I gently framed his face, making him stop and look at me. My lips brushed across his before I whispered to him to let go. As much as I loved the past hours of love making, there was an ache inside of me that still wasn’t satisfied. I wasn’t sure if I could tell him, I wasn’t sure if I should let go myself. He obviously hadn’t noticed the sounds I made and I created with piercing my claws through the sheets.

  I knew that I had to tell him soon that I was going through a change, that I was infected. I had no idea how, but I knew that this ache inside of me was caused by my beast. It wasn’t satisfied by this tame lovemaking and I couldn’t believe that my body was still craving more. Not only more, but Jay’s beast.

  “Fuck me,” I told him under my breath, obviously surprising him. “Please,” I added, needy, grazing my fingernails down his neck. “Let go and fuck me.”

  I knew that he had kept the beast at bay because of me, because he feared that it scared or repulsed me, and that I didn’t want to be treated roughly as he had so many times because he hadn’t been in control.

  Now, it was me being impatient, my beast stirring inside me, trying to take over, and I was willing to allow it. I was only reluctant because I was afraid of Jay’s reaction. Yet, before I knew it an alluring purr escaped my throat. It sounded teasing, daring and not human at all.

  Jay pulled back and blinked at me, surprised. I couldn’t blame him. He tilted his head slightly, looking at me in confusion and I took the chance. Swiftly, I grabbed him and turned him on his back, straddling his lap and pushing him deeper inside me. I couldn’t be as rough as he was, but he definitely got the idea once I started rocking my hips and digging my fingernails into his chest. They were tiny and unobtrusive claws, smaller than some manicured, artificial fingernails I have seen. I was sure that no one watching us would notice, but Jay definitely felt the difference. His hands clawed into my hips. I could feel a subtle sting, but it just aroused me more, sending this sensation all through my nerves once again.

  Before this I would have thought that I was sick or perverted because I enjoyed pain that much. Now I didn’t care, now I leaned back with my eyes closed, riding Jay’s frantically bucking hips, while he most certainly shifted slowly into his secondary form, his beast now surfacing. The idea alone sent goosebumps down my body.

  Another growl escaped him and this time it was more primal, or more pure. I still can’t tell the difference, but it still has the same effect on me.

  Jay grabbed me and a blink later, he was on his feet, my legs wrapping around his waist, allowing him to slide deeper inside me. For a split second I was worried that if he was too harsh, he would hurt what was slowly growing inside me, but as primal as he appeared, he was still careful. A few strides later and I could feel the rough wall grazing my back and him pushing deeper. He was filling me up so perfectly every time he plunged into me, that my eyes felt as if they were rolling backwards.

  I could hold myself perfectly with my legs thanks to my new strength, so that Jay’s clawed hands could explore my body, and finally dig into my open hair, pull my head back and violate my neck and throat. Like that, I was at his mercy, fully, and I loved it. I lost myself trying to decide on what to concentrate on: him penetrating me, or over stimulating my neck’s entire skin.

  If he lost control just a little bit, he could hurt me badly. Thinking of what he had done to my stomach, doing the same to my neck would be lethal. Allowing him to pull back my head, to expose my neck like that wasn’t only arousing; it was intimate and a sign of trust. He knew that. I always had more trust in him than he had in himself. Just, this time it was different. He didn’t seem to struggle, or be in some sort of turmoil.

  Everything was right, perfect; everything in our little bubble of sweaty, lustful rapture.

  When he sent me over this deliciously tormenting edge he came along with me, but he wasn’t satisfied. I could feel it. He was still hard inside me and still standing when he pulled out and allowed my bare feet to touch the ground. I thought I had gotten what I needed, but when his beast glared at me, daring me to surrender, telling me that it would have consequences because he wasn’t finished, I felt like the last hours hadn’t happened.

  For a second I worried that something wasn’t right, not because I mind being tossed around and pushed against the wall that just had scraped my back, but because his insatiable lust had returned.

  That single clear thought vanished from my mind when I felt his hot, sweaty chest against my back, along with his hard cock telling me exactly how deep he fit inside me. It was all I needed to know.

  Nothing can turn your mind as blank as rough primal sex and I know that’s what this really was about.

  My body responded on its own, arching my butt towards him and letting his length rub against my butt cheeks. His answer was a deep growl and I purred in return. My hands clawed into the wall as I pressed my breasts against it, so I could lift my behind even higher. My nipples were painfully sensitive and grinding them against this rough surface just made me needier. But I didn’t have to ask or utter any sound.

  Jay slid inside me easily and ground against all the eager parts of my body. I let out a loud moan and an even louder one as he pushed me against the wall once more, bending my back as much as I could bear.

  He was rough, pounding into me like the feral beast everyone thought he was, and yet he didn’t hurt me, as if he instinctively knew how far he could bend me without breaking me. He definitely had enough practice to find out and learn what I liked about it.

  His left hand snaked from my hip towards my stomach and then down between my legs, leaving a trail of searing heat until his clawed fingers reached my clit. It only took that touch that felt like a life current, electrocuting first my nerves then my bones and muscles, to send me on the edge, holding me there, balancing me on a painfully perfect peak of rapture while he continued fucking me. I can’t say how long it took until he finally came violently, tearing me down into the abyss along with him. I just know that he pushed me against the wall and held me on the edge of what felt like an eternity. And, after releasing me and turning me around to wrap his arms around me tightly, he held even longer. I couldn’t move in his iron embrace. My arms were pressed against his chest and I somehow managed to find a secure footing on my tiptoes. There was no chance to see his face as mine was imprisoned between his chest and neck. But he shivered, trembled violently. I didn’t need to see him to know that something was awfully wrong and to know that he was crying.

  As wonderful as these hours of tender lovemaking and animalistic sex had been, I couldn’t bathe in the aftermath. Not like that, not when Jay was breaking down like that.

  I didn’t ask, didn’t say a word when he eventually let go of me, shaking and not looking at me. So, I took his hand, fished his boxers from our clothes and took him to bed.

  XXX

  White... meaning Dr. Clay Severin, suddenly appeared; as in strolling into the space that was cut off from our part of the cell by
the bars.

  We both had just been... cuddling on the bed and the second Jay even heard the sound of the door being unlocked, which I didn’t – he already had jumped out of the bed to stand in a crouched position, ready to pounce despite the bars. Needless to say that he was full-on beast.

  It took me all my strength to not do the same. I had to turn away and take a few deep breaths, acting as if I was trying to get my t-shirt and panties since I hadn’t put on any clothes.

  White just stood there with a smug smirk on his lips. I didn’t even try to calm Jay down, but once I got my shirt on I stood up and stepped to his side to show him that I was with him. I didn’t want him to feel like he needed to protect me.

  We weren’t at that phase of our lives anymore.

  However, as I moved beside him, I noticed something off about Jay. He obviously wasn’t able to calm down. He was shivering distinctly, his muscles flexing and his eyes glowing in that wonderful green that spoke ‘danger’ clearly. It didn’t change as I touched his arm.

  Confused and calculating, I looked at White accusingly, who was still showing a hint of a smile. He stood there and stared at us, as if he was either amused or satisfied, probably both. He knew what had happened to him.

  “As you can see, Meghan,” White explained coolly yet somewhat gloating – at least to me. “Your reunion isn’t a reward or a will of good fate. Ten is in need of your ... care.”

  “Obviously,” the word came out of my mouth before I could stop myself and his response was fast: a cock of his brow and the faint smile on his disgusting mouth vanished.

  “Bring him back to his full potential and you’ll stay together,” White continued after a painfully long pause in which he seemingly decided to not comment on my sullen outbreak. “In the upcoming days the cell next to your room will be converted into a bathroom. If you continue to act this defiantly, I will have the renovation stopped.”